From the Past ... To the Goal.

Whenever I think about the past, I think about something that has happened YEARS ago. However, the past is something that has happened years, months, weeks, days, and minutes ago. I don't really think about the fact that two minutes ago, it is considered my past. Past, defined by Google, is, "the time or a period of time before the moment of speaking or writing." It is a point in our lives that we cannot take back, that we cannot change, but that we can use to help us reach our goal in Christ.

Philippians is a book based on encouragement. Paul writes to the Philippians from prison and encourages them to live as citizens of a heavenly city. He is also encouraging them to grow their commitment to serve God and one another. Philippians 3:12-14 helps us to go towards our goal while understanding ourselves and our past.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:12-16)

In this chapter, Paul is writing about having righteousness through faith in Christ. Paul is explaining to the Philippians how to not have confidence in their flesh, to be careful of those who are going to bring them down and make them doubt the Gospel. Paul states that he has every reason to be confident in his flesh, more than anyone, because of his past. He was circumcised on the eighth day, he was a Hebrew and always followed the law. Above all, he persecuted and killed Christians. He has every right to follow the flesh because he has broken the law of the Old Testament. But this was his past, before he was blinded by a light in Acts 9. In Philippians 3:7, Paul states, "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ."Everything that Paul has done in his past, he has given it up for Christ and counted it as a loss because Christ is his gain.

Our past is a loss while our walk with Christ is our gain.

Paul continues by stating in Philippians 3:12-14 that he does not pretend to be perfect. Paul's goal is to know Christ, be like Christ, and to be everything that Christ wants him to be. This is the example we have to follow, fix our eyes towards the goal: Be like Christ. Paul had a reason to forget his past, he persecuted Christians and killed them for following Christ and not denying Jesus. We have all done somethings that we are ashamed to talk about it. Because of this shame, we live in the past. We live in the things we have been and we stay stuck there.

My past was not an easy one. There are many things that have happened as I grew up but one thing always stuck to me because I have experienced it the longest. From the ages 9-14, I was molested by various people. By baby sitters, neighbors, random people who grabbed me in the street, and the person who was my step father at the time. This was my past and this was not an easy one to forget. I held it on to myself from those ages until I accepted Jesus in my life, at the age of 20. No one knew about this for 7 years until I opened up to a close friend about it. Because I shut it out for so long and did not talk about it to anyone, not my mom, not my sisters, no one, it hindered how I looked at myself and how I viewed God. Although I was not Christian when these things happened, I knew who God was and I blamed him. This was my sin. I blamed God and I wondered if he existed, why did these horrible things happened to me starting at such a young age. Even when I accepted Jesus at the age of 20, I still blamed God, I still held a grudge against all those who did those terrible things to me, I still hated my body and how I looked.

When I accepted Christ in my life, it still took me time to open up about what has happened to me. Even now, this is a big step for me to do because only a handful of people know this part of my life but God has told me it is time to open up and forgive. Stop holding on to the sin of hating myself, of blaming myself and God. I began going to Jesus and giving everything that has happened to Jesus in order to be fully healed. Because my hope is now in Christ, I can let go of this past guilt and look forward to what God will help me become! It took me YEARS to finally accept that this part of my life happened and to open up about it to everyone.

Jesus helps us to remind us not to dwell in our past and instead grow in knowledge of Christ by concentrating on the relationship I have with him NOW. I am not going to pretend I am perfect and things are perfect, as Paul states, but I am doing one thing, forgetting this sin that I held on to because I was molested and using it to move towards my goal: Be like Christ.

Please, everyone who has been in the same situation, a similar one, or a worse one, realize this: Realize that you are forgiven. Once you realize that you are forgiven, move on to a life of faith and obedience. Continue to look forward, towards the goal, to having a fuller and meaningful life because of your hope in Christ Jesus.